By, Alisa Yardley
Loss is hard. Grief can knock the wind out of the stoic, and draw tears from eyes that otherwise never cry.
Ten days ago a dear friend, one of those who landed in the 'more family than friend' category, unexpectedly passed away. This lively, vivacious, endearing woman who had been in my life since I was barely out of my teens - before I was married, before I had become a mother, was suddenly, and irrevocably gone.
When a mutual friend phoned to tell me the news I asked if she was serious, even as I knew she was. I remained in a state of suspended belief until I talked to Lynne's husband Larry on the phone. He confirmed the worst and filled me in on the details of what had happened. When he said you were her daughter, it touched my heart so much I cried. People frequently mistook us for mother and daughter so we went with it. She became like a second mom to me. It means the world to know she felt the same.
I first met Lynne when I was 20 years old when we were both cast in the musical play Oliver! She was an accomplished singer and actress with a proper role in the play. I was a complete novice, never having performed or even auditioned for live theatre before, but we bonded over music. We both had four and a half octave singing ranges so we would find a place off to the side where we could warm up our voices for the higher vocals together. I can still vividly remember those early moments we shared.
At the close of the show, we fell out of touch. There was no social media in those years so life went on for each of us, until about seven years later when we reconnected at a local karaoke bar. O'Sullivan's attracted a plethora of talent from professional musicians to gifted vocalists from every walk of life. It was a "Cheers" bar and it wasn't long before I considered the friends I met there my karaoke family.
Lynne was a star. Her voice was truly outstanding. She had stage presence all day long and being the shy, awkward performer I was, I admired her ability to draw an audience out and get everyone having fun with a fast song, or shiver with goosebumps when she sang a ballad. She was a natural, and I learned a lot from her… about music, and about life.
She and I had many conversations ranging from silly to serious and everything in between, week after week, for years.
We sang together, wrote together, went to jams together, celebrated birthdays and other life events, performed together, and she and Larry were regular guests at the many parties I hosted in my home for over a decade... Lynne was a big part of my life for a long time.
When the news sunk in and I realized she was really gone I don't mind admitting that I laid my head down and wept. Memories flooded my mind. I phoned a few mutual friends to share the news with them so they wouldn't have to hear about it on social media. Lynne was a well-loved lady with a lot of friends and the news was spreading fast. I spent a number of hours on the phone talking with friends I haven't spoken with for a long time. We reminisced about times we spent together and how sorry we were to have lost such a special person from our friendship circle. Bittersweet reunions. Mutual grief. Shared loss.
When someone we love is gone from our lives there is a sense of absence. A space once filled by them is now left vacant. Grief hurts. Saying goodbye is tough. But I found a point of solace in my sorrow.
I feel profoundly, a sense of peace through understanding that the sadness is there because love was there first. The despair exists because wonderful times preceded it. There is comfort to be found in my memories of her. Comfort in remembering her laugh. Comfort in seeing her in so many of my photos from over the years. Joy and gratitude in knowing I had a wonderful connection with an amazing human being.
Yesterday, I attended a viewing to say farewell to the woman I will forever remember as my music mama. There was a video playing on two big screens: Lynne singing. Dancing. Performing. Hours before she passed she was doing what she loved. She was being the magnetic, effervescent person I had always known her to be. I watched the video with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat - so grateful she had recorded those songs, so grateful to hear her sing one more time.
There is beauty in sorrow, because love, in all its forms, is beautiful, in my opinion.
This blog is dedicated as a tribute of love, first and foremost, to the person it is about: Lynne.
And with heartfelt condolences to Larry, Chris, Keith and the rest of her family, as well as everyone else who loved her. A great many hearts were touched by a life well spent. She was a beautiful person, a gifted performer... a friend.
Comments